I Don't Like Poetry
I don’t like similes.
Every time I try to think of one
my brain feels like a vast, empty desert;
my eyes feel like raisins floating in an ocean;
my fingers feel like sweaty sausages.
I don’t like metaphors.
Whenever I attempt them
a hammer starts beating in my chest;
lava starts bubbling in my veins;
zombies have a fight in my stomach.
I don’t like alliteration.
We learnt about it in school
but it’s seriously, stupendously silly;
definitely drastically difficult;
terribly, troublingly tricky.
I don’t like onomatopoeia.
I wish I could blow it up
with a ZAP! and a BANG! and a CRASH!;
a BOOM! and a CLANG! and a POW!;
a CLASH! and a BAM! and a THUD!
And I don’t like repetition
I don’t like repetition
I don’t like repetition...
(published in I Don't Like Poetry)