When you wake up in your bed

and the feeling starts to spread

and you tingle deep inside –

you’re becoming YETIFIED!


When your skin is growing hairy

and your feet are growing scary

and you’re getting goggle-eyed –

you’re becoming YETIFIED!


When your throat begins to growl

and your mouth begins to howl

and your parents run and hide –

you’re becoming YETIFIED!


When your limbs are growing longer

and your face is getting wronger

and your chest is big and wide –

you’re becoming YETIFIED!


When you look like you’re all set

for the mountains of Tibet

only one thing is implied –

you’re becoming YETIFIED!


When the people shout ‘Beware!’

and the drivers gasp and stare

and their vehicles collide –

You’re becoming YETIFIED!


When you’re strutting round the school

and your classmates think you’re cool

and you’re puffed up full of pride –

you're becoming YETIFIED!


Now you’re sizing up the teacher

and you're just about to eat her.

No it cannot be denied...

you’re becoming YETIFIED!

(published in I Bet I Can Make You Laugh)



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