Vexing Rex
If you want to annoy my dog

(and I mean really, really annoy him),

don’t bother taking his dinner.

He’ll look bemused, maybe let out

a whine, but he can handle it.

 

Nor is it any use to snatch his toy,

or to cut short his walk –

he’ll get confused, maybe sulk

for a time, but he’ll face it with patience.

 

No, if you want to really, really annoy my dog

just blow

           very softly

                  on his head.

  

He’ll bristle and yelp

and bat the breeze with his paws…

 

He’ll snuffle and yap

and snap the gust with his jaws…

 

If you want to really, really annoy my dog,

a tiny little puff or air

will get him as growly

as a grizzly bear.

 

And it isn’t just my dog:

if you want to really, really annoy my dad

just do what I do

 

and climb in bed with him,

on a Sunday morning,

and blow

           very gently

                  in his face…

(published in I Bet I Can Make You Laugh)

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