If you want to annoy my dog
(and I mean really, really annoy him),
don’t bother taking his dinner.
He’ll look bemused, maybe let out
a whine, but he can handle it.
Nor is it any use to snatch his toy,
or to cut short his walk –
he’ll get confused, maybe sulk
for a time, but he’ll face it with patience.
No, if you want to really, really annoy my dog
on his head.
He’ll bristle and yelp
and bat the breeze with his paws…
He’ll snuffle and yap
and snap the gust with his jaws…
If you want to really, really annoy my dog,
a tiny little puff or air
will get him as growly
as a grizzly bear.
And it isn’t just my dog:
if you want to really, really annoy my dad
just do what I do
and climb in bed with him,
on a Sunday morning,
in his face…