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My Mum Is in Love with a Hideous Beast





My mum is in love with a hideous beast.​​

It only comes over at night.

When I’m under my covers​​

I hear the two lovers​​

kissing away out of sight.​​​


My mum is in love with a terrible troll​​,

or perhaps it is some kind of ghoul.

Round about ten o’clock

​​I hear keys in the lock​​

but it’s gone when I wake up for school.​​​


I find little love letters all round the flat​​,

and strange little notes on the wall —

the beast calls her ‘honey’​​

and ‘darling sweet bunny’.

I don’t like this creature at all.


Why isn’t mum scared out of her wits?​​

Why doesn’t she wail and yell?

​​If it came in my room​​

I’d grab a big broom​​

and I’d bludgeon its brains to hell!​​


So I asked my mum about the beast​​,

She said there’s no need to get mad.

She said I was foolish,​​

the creature’s not ghoulish —

she said it was only my dad.​​​


My mum is in love with a curious man​​

and it seems that at last I know who:​

my dad left those letters.​

If I knew him better​

then maybe I’d love my dad too.​

(published in Scared?)



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