My Mum Is in Love with a Hideous Beast
My mum is in love with a hideous beast.
It only comes over at night.
When I’m under my covers
I hear the two lovers
kissing away out of sight.
My mum is in love with a terrible troll,
or perhaps it is some kind of ghoul.
Round about ten o’clock
I hear keys in the lock
but it’s gone when I wake up for school.
I find little love letters all round the flat,
and strange little notes on the wall –
the beast calls her ‘honey’
and ‘darling sweet bunny’.
I don’t like this creature at all.
Why isn’t mum scared out of her wits?
Why doesn’t she wail and yell?
If it came in my room
I’d grab a big broom
and I’d bludgeon its brains to hell!
So I asked my mum about the beast,
She said there’s no need to get mad.
She said I was foolish,
the creature’s not ghoulish –
she said it was only my dad.
My mum is in love with a curious man
and it seems that at last I know who:
my dad left those letters.
If I knew him better
then maybe I’d love my dad too.